

Almost every parent has experienced the moment when a child suddenly starts screaming, crying, or throwing themselves on the floor. These tantrums can feel overwhelming and confusing, leaving many parents wondering what they did wrong or how to make it stop. Tantrums are a pretty typical part of childhood, according to Jen Lumanlan’s article “Six Ways to Respond to Your Child’s Tantrum”. Tantrums are used by young children to communicate bigger emotions that they are unable to verbalize.
Lumanlan discusses several studies on why tantrums occur. Tantrums are more common when a child is exhausted, frustrated, hungry, or seeks attention from a parent. Children also frequently become irritated when they try to do something that is too difficult for them or when they want to do something on their own but can’t quite execute it. These overwhelming breakdown moments are usually about the childs actual emotions and needs.
The article also provides parents with helpful advice on how to respond. One important approach is to be calm yourself when entering the situation because children frequently ‘borrow’ or mirror the emotions of people around them. Grounding yourself and leading with compassion will benefit both the parent and the child in this circumstance. Another tip is to wait until the child has let it all out and calmed down before discussing what happened in order to assist them put their emotions into words by explaining what just happened. Lumanlan also really stresses the need of acknowledging the child’s emotions rather than punishing them or surrendering to every demand from the child.
Parents can help their children learn to handle big feelings and develop stronger emotional skills over time by recognizing what a tantrum is truly saying, and communicating this to the child.
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Grace Hoey
UConn KIDS Research Assistant











