Our emotions allow us to connect with others and make sense of the world around us; they are a central part of our life. During childhood, our emotions may control us more than we control them. When children don’t know how to navigate their emotions they may end up repressing them or seeking out harmful coping outlets, both of which can have negative impacts on their physical and mental health. This is why it’s important to teach children how to manage their emotions properly.
One way to show children how to regulate their emotions is to model it yourself. Children watch people around them for cues on what behaviors to emulate, so they are likely to pick up on healthy emotion regulation techniques if they see someone else using them. So, the next time you are angry or upset in the vicinity of your child, try taking deep breaths or using other self-regulation mechanisms, and chances are your child will begin using them too. When your child is feeling upset it is also important to use empathy and validate their emotions. Acknowledging your child’s feelings through using statements that reflect their emotions like, “You seem angry,” helps them feel recognized. Showing your child that you are there for them and value their feelings helps them begin the process of expressing, rather than repressing, their feelings.
It is also important to recognize that emotions cannot be limited; let your child feel their “bad” emotions, but teach them that emotions and actions can be separate. Instead of telling your child to calm down, try teaching them coping mechanisms for their emotions instead. Further, it can be hard to tell what a child is feeling at times. Having them talk their emotions out to you can help you understand their emotional triggers, and helps them sort through their feelings as well.
Lastly, teach your child how to find and recognize emotional outlets. Using an emotional outlet, like writing, dancing, or exercising, can be a form of self-expression and can help your child regulate their emotions, and can also be a useful tool for self-expression and socialization.
Kylie Robinshaw
Research Assistant, UConn KIDS
Article Link: https://psychcentral.com/blog/helping-children-learn-how-to-manage-emotions#1