Research studies at Penn State looked at how changes in parental involvement, warmth, and discipline during the early stages of development and through adolescence affected the quality of the parental-child relationship during the young adult period of their life. In the study, 1631 participants from rural and semi-rural neighborhoods were surveyed in a long-term research study starting from between sixth to twelfth grade up until they were 22 years old.
The research showed that during the teenage years, parenting had a lot of variation and changed quite often. In fact, parents seemed to show less affection and warmth during this time. It was noted that less time was spent with children, and more discipline was applied. This built a negative parental-child relationship in the adult phase and parents were not able to maintain a close relationship with their children.
As children grow older and are exposed to independence and the idea of autonomy, it becomes harder for parents to stay involved in their children‘s lives. However, simple activities can help keep this bond close. For example, playing sports, games, or even going for a bike/walk, going out to eat or having regular meals together, working on errands together, and keeping open communication about the school, friends, social life, and the future. In addition to activities and time spent together, it is important for parents to keep in mind the words they speak to their children. Simple phrases such as “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” or even affectionate signs such as hugs and kisses can help really tighten the bond.
In terms of discipline, during the teenage years, adolescents start to want to be treated as adults and respected as one. And so, using harsh tone and language, or using overpowering discipline will only make them feel like a child and not want to create that bond with the parent. Rules and regulations are important and should be maintained, but having open discussions about them and creating a list of what is expected from them together as a family can really help enforce discipline. When children are included in the decisions and the decision-making process, it makes them feel like they have played a part and are equal to the parent.
Link: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/10/221004213343.htm
Tulsi Patel
Research Assistant, UConn KIDS