For children, play isn’t just fun–it’s brain-building, and the simplest everyday interactions with kids matter more than flashcards or fancy toys. Jesse Ilhardt reflects on her own experience as a preschool teacher–once focused on checklists of letters, numbers, and shapes–and explains why real learning comes through play and interactions. Research shows that playful back-and-forth interactions between children and adults actually build the brain’s architecture, especially the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for problem-solving, planning, and emotional regulation.

But many parents and teachers still avoid play because they want quick results (like memorizing letters) or feel unsure how to play. The talk highlights how simple, everyday moments, like using measuring cups and sponges at bath time instead of traditional bath toys, can become powerful brain-building opportunities. The takeaway: kids don’t need fancy toys or endless worksheets. What they need most is time to play, and caring adults who join in.

Every parent wonders: Does the way I raise my child really shape who they become? There are 4 main parenting styles, defined by the ways parents interact with and set rules for their kids: Authoritative (parents are warm and caring, but also set clear rules and expect children to follow them), Authoritarian (parents have strict rules, demand obedience, and show less warmth), Permissive (parents are loving and kind but don’t enforce many rules or expectations), and Neglectful (parents show low warmth and don’t set many rules or monitor the child much). Each style shows how each one can affect a child’s emotions, school success, friendships, and behavior. 

The findings suggest that the “sweet spot” is being both caring and structured. Kids raised with warmth and clear rules tend to thrive the most. But it’s not that simple–culture, family resources, stress, and even technology all change how parenting styles play out in real life. What works well in one family or culture may not in another. Being too permissive might feel loving but can leave the kids struggling with self-control. In today’s world, questions about digital media and modern family life add even more layers. 

This article opens up an important conversation: not just about which style is “right,” but about how parents, communities, and societies can better support their children so they have the chance to thrive no matter their circumstances!

 

If you want to read more, click here!

Erin Mulroy

UConn KIDS, Research Assistant

Erin is a research assistant for UConn KIDS from Shelton, CT. She is a sophomore Physiology and Neurobiology major and Spanish minor. She is happy to be a part of UConn KIDS because it gives her the opportunity to become more involved with children and the various research opportunities at UConn.

After graduating, she plans on attending medical school where she will pursue pediatric neurology. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, running, painting, and spinning for the UConn Color Guard!