We all know that there’s no single way to parent a child. Different parenting styles cater to different kids. Many parents worry that their kids will not be successful if they don’t closely monitor their every move. Julie Lythcott-Haims, an academic author, believes that hovering too closely over children can lead them to live a “checklist childhood.” These childhoods cross off all the basics: ensuring children are in the right schools, getting good grades, helping them win awards, and involving them in extracurricular activities. Many parents believe that raising kids this way will help them achieve perfection. However, if every child is raised this way, how can we expect our children to thrive and stand out? 

Lythcott-Haims emphasizes the importance of teaching children to build self-efficacy. Teaching self-efficacy helps kids see that their actions can also have meaningful outcomes, not their parents’ actions but their own. It’s essential to broaden the idea of success that we teach children. Being successful is more than getting good grades. Being successful comes from happiness, love, confidence, and passion. Living with this definition of success can help children become the exceptional individuals they truly are.

Watch the full Ted Talk here.

Emma Dineen

Research Assistant, UConn KIDS

---