In her TED Talk “How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children,” Lael Stone explains why emotional understanding is one of the most important skills we can teach kids. She explains that many adults were raised to believe that strong emotions—like anger, sadness, or fear—should be avoided or hidden. As a result, people often grow up without knowing how to process their feelings in healthy ways. Stone argues that emotional intelligence is just as vital as academic success because it shapes how we connect with others, handle stress, and build empathy.

Throughout the talk, Stone shares her life stories from her work with children and her own family to show how kids learn by example. When adults respond calmly and listen with empathy instead of trying to “fix” or dismiss emotions, children learn that their feelings are valid and manageable. This creates a sense of safety and trust that helps them regulate their emotions better over time. She also explains that when feelings are ignored, children often respond by either shutting down or acting out—both signs that they don’t feel understood.

Ultimately, Stone encourages parents, teachers, and caregivers to rethink how they approach children’s emotions. Rather than trying to control behavior, adults should focus on connection and compassion. When we give children the space to express their emotions and feel heard, we help them grow into confident, empathetic, and emotionally balanced individuals.