When teens and adolescents receive criticism from their parents, they will often internalize it, making them feel bad about themselves. Parents try to discipline their children in order to prevent the misbehavior from recurring again, but when they don’t receive the wanted reaction from the kids, they will continue to discipline. Often, when a child looks down at the ground or does not respond when a parent is disciplining, it is often misunderstood as the child is not getting the message. However, they are, and continuous discipline can cause them to carry guilt and shame around with them which can lead to more destructive behaviors.

Parents need to realize that their authority and physicality can be imposing on children and that they need to get to their level in order to effectively discipline their child. Often, yelling and overbearingness can have the opposite effect of what the parent wants. They need to first explain to the child that the behavior conducted is being criticized and not the child itself, so that they do not carry around that feeling on the daily and start to lose value of themselves. It has been found that teens that grew up believing that they were “bad” people or that there was something wrong with them due to criticism, turn to experimenting with drugs, becoming involved in inappropriate relationships, and even having suicidal ideations.

Parents have the capability of changing the way their children feel about themselves and the words and emotions that they internalize. Instead of acting in the moment when their child misbehaves, it is better to think and understand the child first, and it can lead to positive outcomes in the future.

Article Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/adolescents-explained/202210/kids-may-turn-their-anger-inward-when-criticized-adults

Tulsi Patel

Research Assistant, UConn KIDS

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